She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
