I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
