Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
When are your genitals available?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
