I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize