I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
