she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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