so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize