Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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