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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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