her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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