My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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