So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
