wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
