I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
