East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
