This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
