she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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