She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
