Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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