just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize