It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
