There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
