STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
