Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
