feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
