I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
