ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
