i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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