All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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