Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
