It's Friday. Sex?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize