He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
