you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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