Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
