Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
