hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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