p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
