i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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