Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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