Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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