the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
