it wasn't lemon gatorade
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
