i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
