Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
