whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
