Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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