Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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