people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
