Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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