Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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