wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
