Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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