Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize