The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
