i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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