8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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