And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
