Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What a dumb baby whore.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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