they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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