That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
